If you are reading this in April and you are pregnant, there is a reasonable chance that the phrase "Stress Awareness Month" has made you let out a very tired laugh. Because stress and pregnancy? They tend to go hand in hand whether you want them to or not. There is the physical stuff. The appointments, the symptoms, the not sleeping, the running to the loo every forty minutes. And then there is everything going on in your head. Will my baby be okay? Will I be okay? What if birth does not go the way I want it to? What if I cannot cope? I know that place. I have been there. And I want to talk honestly about what stress actually does during pregnancy and birth, and more importantly, what you can do about it. Not in a have you tried lavender oil kind of way. In an actual, practical, this will make a real difference kind of way.
What stress actually does to your body
When you feel stressed, your body kicks into what is called the fight or flight response. It is a survival mechanism wired into us over thousands of years. Your brain detects a threat, real or imagined, and immediately signals your body to prepare to either fight it or run from it.
Adrenaline floods your system. Your heart rate goes up. Blood gets redirected away from your digestive system and your uterus toward your arms and legs, because those are the things that help you fight or run. Your muscles tighten. Your breathing becomes shallower.
Here is where it gets really relevant to birth. Your uterus is a muscle. A big one. And when your body is in fight or flight mode, with blood being pulled away from it, it cannot work efficiently. The muscles tighten and struggle to function in the coordinated, rhythmic way they need to during labour.
That is the basis of what is called the fear tension pain cycle. When we are scared, we tense up. When we tense up, everything is harder and more painful. More pain creates more fear. And the cycle continues. ¹
None of this is your fault. It is just how human bodies work. But once you understand it, you can start to do something about it.
What stress hormones mean for your baby
During pregnancy, high levels of cortisol, which is the main stress hormone, can cross the placenta. Research has looked at associations between chronic stress in pregnancy and outcomes including preterm labour and difficulties with infant sleep and feeding in the weeks after birth. ²
I want to be careful here, because the last thing anyone who is already stressed needs is more to worry about. The evidence relates to chronic, long-term stress, the kind that continues for months without support or intervention. It is not about a bad week or an anxious morning.
What it does tell us is that taking your mental wellbeing seriously during pregnancy is not a luxury. It is genuinely important. Not just for your birth experience, but for you and your baby across the whole of pregnancy.
What stress actually looks like in pregnancy
It does not always look like panic attacks or obvious anxiety. Sometimes stress in pregnancy is much quieter than that.
It might look like lying awake at 3am working through every possible worst case scenario. It might look like avoiding thinking about birth altogether because it feels too overwhelming. It might look like snapping at your partner for no real reason, or crying at an advert.
It might look like googling birth stories at midnight and convincing yourself that everything will go wrong. We have all been there. Put the phone down.
It might look like feeling completely disconnected from your pregnancy, just getting through each day without letting yourself feel excited, because hoping feels more frightening than staying numb.
All of these are really understandable responses to a genuinely big experience. But that does not mean you have to just put up with them.
What hypnobirthing actually does
When people hear the word hypnobirthing, they usually picture someone lying in a candlelit room in a trance, completely oblivious to what is happening around them. I completely understand why. The name does not exactly help.
But that is not what it is. Not even close.
Hypnobirthing is essentially a toolkit for your nervous system. It is a combination of education, breathing techniques, relaxation practice and mindset work that helps you move out of fight or flight and into a calmer, more controlled physiological state, one where your body can actually do what it is designed to do.
You learn exactly how your body works during labour, the hormones involved, what is happening at each stage, why your body is doing what it is doing. That knowledge alone removes a significant amount of fear. Fear of the unknown is often the biggest driver of birth anxiety. When you understand the process, it stops feeling like something that is happening to you and starts feeling like something you are part of.
You learn breathing techniques that activate the parasympathetic nervous system, which is the rest and digest system that is the direct opposite of fight or flight. The slow, extended exhale breathing practised in hypnobirthing genuinely shifts your body's physiological state. This is not wishful thinking. It is biology. ³
You also learn how to use relaxation and visualisation to keep your mind settled even when things get intense. These are skills, not magic. They take a bit of practice. But they work.
This is not only for people planning a particular type of birth
One thing I want to clear up, because I hear this a lot: hypnobirthing is not only for people who want a drug-free, intervention-free birth in a pool with whale music playing.
The tools work regardless of how your birth unfolds. They work in the pool, on the ward, in theatre. They work if you have an epidural, if you need an induction, if you end up with a caesarean. The calmer and more informed you are going into any birth scenario, the better your experience of it is likely to be.
I had my first baby before I knew any of this. It was overwhelming, frightening, and left me with a lot to process. My second birth, when I used the tools I now teach, was one of the most empowering experiences of my life. Same body. Completely different experience. The difference was preparation, and not just the practical kind.
What you can do right now
Even if you are not ready to commit to a full course, there are things you can start today.
The first is something that sounds almost too simple: conscious breathing. Breathe in slowly for a count of four, then breathe out slowly for a count of eight. Do that a few times. That extended exhale activates your vagus nerve, which helps switch off the stress response. It genuinely works and it costs you nothing. ⁴
The second is limiting what I would call stress feeding. That midnight google spiral, birth horror stories in Facebook groups, the well-meaning relative who cannot help sharing every difficult experience they have ever heard of. None of that is preparing you. It is feeding the fear.
The third is being honest about how you are feeling. Not fine thanks honest. Actually honest. With your midwife, your partner, someone you trust. Stress thrives in silence. Saying it out loud takes away some of its power.
And the fourth is getting proper support. Whether that is a hypnobirthing course, talking therapy, a supportive antenatal group, or a combination of things. You do not have to figure this out alone.
A final word
I think Stress Awareness Month exists because we are not very good at talking about stress, especially the kind that does not look dramatic from the outside.
Pregnancy is one of the most emotionally complex experiences a person can go through. It is full of joy and hope, yes, but also fear and uncertainty and an enormous amount of change all at once. You are allowed to find it hard. You are allowed to need support.
Taking care of your mental wellbeing during pregnancy is not indulgent. It is necessary. And you deserve to feel supported in doing it.
If you are based in North Tyneside and want to know more about what hypnobirthing could do for you, I would love to have a chat. Have a look at the courses page or drop me a message.
Next week I will be talking about what a healthy birth experience actually looks like, because I think the way we measure birth success is leaving a lot of women out.
Bex x
References
- Dick-Read, G. (1942). Childbirth Without Fear. The original framework for the fear tension pain cycle has been widely validated in subsequent midwifery and obstetric research. rcm.org.uk
- Guardino, C.M. & Schetter, C.D. (2014). Understanding Pregnancy Anxiety. zero-to-three.org
- Lothian, J.A. (2011). Lamaze breathing: what every pregnant woman needs to know. ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3306562
- Gerritsen, R.J.S. & Band, G.P.H. (2018). Breath of Life: The Respiratory Vagal Stimulation Model of Contemplative Activity. ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6189422