I’m so grateful to S for sharing not just one, but both of her birth stories with us. There’s something incredibly powerful about seeing them side by side. The contrast, the growth, the quiet confidence that builds from one experience to the next. Each story is unique, yet together they paint a fuller picture of how birth can unfold in beautifully different ways. S’s honesty and instinctive wisdom shine through every moment, from her self-made pain management technique to the unexpected support of a very intuitive cat. Her second birth shows how informed choices and compassionate care can transform the experience entirely. It’s a reminder that birth isn’t just about the outcome, but about the journey, the people who walk alongside us, and the trust we place in ourselves.
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Baby No1
I hadn’t really given birth much thought with my first baby. I tried to put it to the back of my mind, and when my friends asked how I was so calm about it, I replied “the baby has to come out of me at some point, in some way, there is no use in stressing over it”. The only thing I had planned was that I wanted to use the pool. Everything else, I left up to fate.
He was a summer baby so by the end, I was very uncomfortable and, after a couple of sweeps and four days past my due date, I had my first contraction at something past 1 in the morning. Contractions weren’t so bad, I had nothing to compare them to, but the way he was laying was putting lots of pressure on by back, which was more uncomfortable than the contractions. I rang the hospital around midday and they told me to come in for a check up. I was only 1cm, they gave me some codeine for the pain in my back (I don’t usually take medication however I felt like I needed it), and sent me home.
At that point, I had a stern word with myself. I told myself that I could be feeling this way for a long time, so I needed to get my mind on top of it. I hadn’t really heard of hypnobirthing at that time, however I have always been mindful and aware of the power over my body so I came up with my own little coping mechanism. When a contraction came, I imagined the pain like a hoola hoop, going up my waist/back. When it got to the point of it being painful, I would “hoola” the pain back down my body to a place I could manage it.
It was now 4am the next morning, over 24 hours after my first contraction. I was on the sofa watching some rubbish TV, my partner barely awake. I had been in my own little zone for so long, I wasn’t really aware of the changes in my body. Then, one of our cats came rushing over to me and jumped on my bump. She began to cry and nudge my stomach. We took that as a sign to ring the hospital, only to be met with a “are you sure you want to come in? you’ll probably be sent home again”. I was willing to wait however my partner persisted due to the unusual behaviour of the cat.
We drove to the hospital, had a check up, I was 9cm! The midwife ran the pool and 45 mins later, our beautiful baby boy was born. His head came out in the sack however the nurse had to pop it as he had a poop so it was unsafe. If it hadn’t had been for the cat, I would have almost defiantly had my boy at home and would have had a completely different experience.
Baby No 2
All birth stories are different and special in their own way. With baby no2, I had a much better idea of what my body could handle and how I would like my birth to go. I toyed with the idea of a home birth with a pool however I didn’t like the idea of the tidy up after. I wanted to come home to a clean house, with no housework to do.
Like my first, I wanted to give birth in the pool, my only request. My midwife told me that the birthing suite at the hospital had closed however could be open by my due date so to “stick with that” until later. A few more appointments went by, with the same response, the suite is closed. I then had an appointment with another midwife as my dedicated one was on leave. Claire was amazing! I asked about the pool situation again, she gave me two different hospitals I could give birth in that had a pool. Not once did the other midwife give me these options. She then went on to go through a birth plan with me and give me options I didn’t even know I had first time round. I asked to change midwife then and there and it was the best decision I have ever made.
I had a tour round Hexham General as I was low risk. I loved it and decided to change my plan to give birth there. My waters broke one day past by due date. I started having contractions about an hour later (6am). I got in the bath and sent my oldest to his grandparents to take him to school. Due to the staffing at the hospital, I decided to wait until 9am to ring, to let them know I was in labour so that they could sort out the on call (I assumed I would be in later that afternoon/evening). The midwife wanted me to come in so she could confirm it was my waters and to give me a check up. She told me she would then send me to get a cup of tea or go for a walk for a few hours due to the distance I lived from the hospital. I was reluctant to do so as I wanted to spend as much time at home, however I was persuaded by my partner to go due to “what happened last time”. He went to the garage for diesel and a bacon sandwich from Greggs whilst I got dressed and scrubbed the toilet (I had a weird urge to do so). I remember being halfway along the A69and saying to my partner “I think I am further along that I thought”.
We got to the hospital around 10am, I was 9cm. The pool was run and baby girl was born at 11am. No pain relief at all. The midwife on the ward had rung my community midwife to let her know I was coming in. She then got her home visits covered and came to see me at the hospital. She arrived 1minute after baby was born and was beside me for support until we left a few hours later. She is genuinely the nicest person I have met, and it brings a tear to my eye every time I think about how supportive she was. If I hadn’t have had her for that one off appointment, my birth experience would not have been the same.